Pretty good day

Today I...

• turned off all my alarms and woke up 15 minutes before class started
• thought mean things in my head about my stupid professor for giving us stupid busy work
• found out from a friend that it's the first day of fall
• watched three episodes of Desperate Housewives to try to catch up before the new season starts
• skipped the usual after class nap
• actually started my homework before midnight
• realized that I'll be in the classrooms observing/teaching next week
• realized that I have nothing "professional" to wear for observing/teaching in the classrooms next week
• had a salad for lunch instead of just eating random snack items throughout the day
• crossed nothing off of my list of things to do
• went to a meeting about student teaching abroad...and actually am considering it
• decided I DEFINITELY want to be living on the island again this summer if at all possible
• sat down and just wrote
• walked the 15 minutes home instead of waiting 10 minutes for a 2 minute bus ride (do the math)
• heard from an old friend

Today I made a list of everything I want and deserve in a guy...
and decided I'm not going to settle for anything less

Overall, I'd say it was a pretty good day

Katherine

Ode to England

Well, it's been one year since I left to study abroad in England and I've been thinking about my time there a lot lately - looking at the pictures, missing my friends, remembering the great times. And I thought to myself, "why am I thinking about it so much? It was a year ago. SO much has happened since then. I'm not there anymore." Needless to say I was a little happy to find that I wasn't the only one thinking about it. I read a conversation my England friends were having about how they're all doing now, post England. Some of them are missing it, some aren't thinking about it so much, and I just wanted to share my response to their stories because well, I just need to share it. So here it is, my thoughts, addressed to my friends...

Well, let me just say that I can understand a little bit of everyone's feelings because I've felt them all before. For me personally, England was the best time of my life, hands down, ever. I mean, I had a GREAT childhood and high school experience and I thought it couldn't possibly get any better. Then I got to college and quite frankly I just didn't like it. I made barely any friends and just hated being away from home. Then I started dating John and I was so happy, but then John broke my heart and Marissa, my best friend, was leaving to go to Greece and I knew I just had to go out and do something. So I went to England alone and I was so scared and it turned out better than I could have possibly imagined.

You guys were the closest friends I've had since high school. I enjoyed every single moment from sing alongs to sarah's guitar to sarah sansolo's fuss over how there was nothing to eat in a Tesco. lol. SIDENOTE: Sarah S, I'm just teasing you. I loved spending time with you and I'm just sorry you didn't have a more enjoyable time. But I am SO SO incredibly glad that you've really found yourself and are so happy right now! I'm happy for you because when I was abroad, that was me finding myself. I came back a completely changed person and I owe it to England and myself and you guys. You helped me so much!

So needless to say when the new me came back I was happy to be home, but I was really depressed. I missed england and you all so much. And then I started dating Brian and things got a little better and then this summer was just amazing. And now that I'm heartbroken again, back in that place I was before I left for abroad, I'm missing England and you all even more every day. And I'm beginning to realize that while I miss England and you all and that time we spent together, what I think I'm missing most is myself, that person I was when I was there. That carefree, independent, living life to its fullest, young woman. In those three months I felt like I could do anything and I would have if I really wanted to!

And now that it's gone, now that I'm back to this place, I just need that feeling back. I need to know that I can get on a plane and go somewhere and just temporarily start over. I need to know that I can make friends and really be myself no matter what. I need to know that I can fall in love without a man by falling in love with myself and life! But what I really need is to know I can do all those things without running away from the life I have now. Because no matter how much I miss England and you guys, no matter how much I miss Brian - LIFE IS GOOD! I mean, really, life is great. It's the most precious thing in the world and we are all so incredibly blessed just to be breathing. School, jobs, stress, all the drama - none of that matters. All that matters is that you make yourself happy any way you can. Know that any sadness, loneliness, or pain you have will pass because you deserve to be happy and God knows that. And you will be happy, just look to yourself first and foremost!

I hope this helped in any way. Even If not for you, it definitely helped me. I feel like I was mostly speaking to myself, but hey, that's okay. I love and miss you all so much and I WILL be seeing you again soon. Thank you all for being apart of my intervention and the reinvention of myself. You mean the world to me and you always will.

I'm sorry for my absence all these long months, but I think I'm ready to come back. I think I'm finally ready to start writing again. Not because I have the time or because I owe it to anyone, but just because I really want to. I am a writer and I've been going crazy not writing. So this is my official announcement: I'm coming home! I hope you keep reading.

Katherine