Alright, so I said I was going to start writing in this thing again after a long absence and then I wrote two posts and stopped again. This is just not cutting it! I really WANT to be writing again! I think maybe I'm hesitant to bring this blog back into action because there's just so much more to it than just writing...I have to choose fonts and colors and choose an eye popping title to try to get people to read....then there's the whole issue about the template and layout of the blog itself...and let's fact it, it's just not very appealing. I've gone to just plain black now because it's boring and honestly, that's just how I feel about this blog right now! It's such a love/hate relationship. I love to write, but I hate all this other crap! Can't I just say whatever it is I want and leave it at that? Ah! And I really want to make this blog appealing and attractive, but I'm just too technologically illiterate that I can't figure out how to get it to look the way I want. I need a computer genius to just do it all for me! Any offers? No...?
So despite all this extra drama that a writer just shouldn't have to stress over simply to do a little bit of writing...I'm going to really really try to keep this blog updated AND entertaining AND attractive....but you'll have to bear with me and be patient. I'm still learning here! I know this was kind of a cop out blog entry...and I'm sorry, but it just needed to be addressed. So before I go to start thinking about the topic for my next entry I just have one more thing to address. What should I call this blog?! It began as "Chrysanthemums" which was fitting because it's my favorite name and favorite flower...even though it's the flower of death...lol. Then I changed it to "The Awakening" which is a novel written by Kate Chopin (completely tedius read...but good book in regards to a woman finally finding herself and "waking up" from her hum drum life). I changed it to that because I had an awakening....and now that I'm living in the wake and the actual "awakening" is over I'm thinking it may be time for a change again....so what should I do? Go back to Chrysanthemums, keep the Awakening, or come up with something new? You tell me!
Katherine
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Pretty good day
Today I...
and decided I'm not going to settle for anything less
Overall, I'd say it was a pretty good day
Katherine
- turned off all my alarms and woke up 15 minutes before class started
- thought mean things in my head about my stupid professor for giving us stupid busy work
- found out from a friend that it's the first day of fall
- watched three episodes of Desperate Housewives to try to catch up before the new season starts
- skipped the usual after class nap
- actually started my homework before midnight
- realized that I'll be in the classrooms observing/teaching next week
- realized that I have nothing "professional" to wear for observing/teaching in the classrooms next week
- had a salad for lunch instead of just eating random snack items throughout the day
- crossed nothing off of my list of things to do
- went to a meeting about student teaching abroad...and actually am considering it
- decided I DEFINITELY want to be living on the island again this summer if at all possible
- sat down and just wrote
- walked the 15 minutes home instead of waiting 10 minutes for a 2 minute bus ride (do the math)
- heard from an old friend
and decided I'm not going to settle for anything less
Overall, I'd say it was a pretty good day
Katherine
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Ode to England
Well, it's been one year since I left to study abroad in England and I've been thinking about my time there a lot lately - looking at the pictures, missing my friends, remembering the great times. And I thought to myself, "why am I thinking about it so much? It was a year ago. SO much has happened since then. I'm not there anymore." Needless to say I was a little happy to find that I wasn't the only one thinking about it. I read a conversation my England friends were having about how they're all doing now, post England. Some of them are missing it, some aren't thinking about it so much, and I just wanted to share my response to their stories because well, I just need to share it. So here it is, my thoughts, addressed to my friends...
Well, let me just say that I can understand a little bit of everyone's feelings because I've felt them all before. For me personally, England was the best time of my life, hands down, ever. I mean, I had a GREAT childhood and high school experience and I thought it couldn't possibly get any better. Then I got to college and quite frankly I just didn't like it. I made barely any friends and just hated being away from home. Then I started dating John and I was so happy, but then John broke my heart and Marissa, my best friend, was leaving to go to Greece and I knew I just had to go out and do something. So I went to England alone and I was so scared and it turned out better than I could have possibly imagined.
You guys were the closest friends I've had since high school. I enjoyed every single moment from sing alongs to sarah's guitar to sarah sansolo's fuss over how there was nothing to eat in a Tesco. lol. SIDENOTE: Sarah S, I'm just teasing you. I loved spending time with you and I'm just sorry you didn't have a more enjoyable time. But I am SO SO incredibly glad that you've really found yourself and are so happy right now! I'm happy for you because when I was abroad, that was me finding myself. I came back a completely changed person and I owe it to England and myself and you guys. You helped me so much!
So needless to say when the new me came back I was happy to be home, but I was really depressed. I missed england and you all so much. And then I started dating Brian and things got a little better and then this summer was just amazing. And now that I'm heartbroken again, back in that place I was before I left for abroad, I'm missing England and you all even more every day. And I'm beginning to realize that while I miss England and you all and that time we spent together, what I think I'm missing most is myself, that person I was when I was there. That carefree, independent, living life to its fullest, young woman. In those three months I felt like I could do anything and I would have if I really wanted to!
And now that it's gone, now that I'm back to this place, I just need that feeling back. I need to know that I can get on a plane and go somewhere and just temporarily start over. I need to know that I can make friends and really be myself no matter what. I need to know that I can fall in love without a man by falling in love with myself and life! But what I really need is to know I can do all those things without running away from the life I have now. Because no matter how much I miss England and you guys, no matter how much I miss Brian - LIFE IS GOOD! I mean, really, life is great. It's the most precious thing in the world and we are all so incredibly blessed just to be breathing. School, jobs, stress, all the drama - none of that matters. All that matters is that you make yourself happy any way you can. Know that any sadness, loneliness, or pain you have will pass because you deserve to be happy and God knows that. And you will be happy, just look to yourself first and foremost!
I hope this helped in any way. Even If not for you, it definitely helped me. I feel like I was mostly speaking to myself, but hey, that's okay. I love and miss you all so much and I WILL be seeing you again soon. Thank you all for being apart of my intervention and the reinvention of myself. You mean the world to me and you always will.
I'm sorry for my absence all these long months, but I think I'm ready to come back. I think I'm finally ready to start writing again. Not because I have the time or because I owe it to anyone, but just because I really want to. I am a writer and I've been going crazy not writing. So this is my official announcement: I'm coming home! I hope you keep reading.
Katherine
Well, let me just say that I can understand a little bit of everyone's feelings because I've felt them all before. For me personally, England was the best time of my life, hands down, ever. I mean, I had a GREAT childhood and high school experience and I thought it couldn't possibly get any better. Then I got to college and quite frankly I just didn't like it. I made barely any friends and just hated being away from home. Then I started dating John and I was so happy, but then John broke my heart and Marissa, my best friend, was leaving to go to Greece and I knew I just had to go out and do something. So I went to England alone and I was so scared and it turned out better than I could have possibly imagined.
You guys were the closest friends I've had since high school. I enjoyed every single moment from sing alongs to sarah's guitar to sarah sansolo's fuss over how there was nothing to eat in a Tesco. lol. SIDENOTE: Sarah S, I'm just teasing you. I loved spending time with you and I'm just sorry you didn't have a more enjoyable time. But I am SO SO incredibly glad that you've really found yourself and are so happy right now! I'm happy for you because when I was abroad, that was me finding myself. I came back a completely changed person and I owe it to England and myself and you guys. You helped me so much!
So needless to say when the new me came back I was happy to be home, but I was really depressed. I missed england and you all so much. And then I started dating Brian and things got a little better and then this summer was just amazing. And now that I'm heartbroken again, back in that place I was before I left for abroad, I'm missing England and you all even more every day. And I'm beginning to realize that while I miss England and you all and that time we spent together, what I think I'm missing most is myself, that person I was when I was there. That carefree, independent, living life to its fullest, young woman. In those three months I felt like I could do anything and I would have if I really wanted to!
And now that it's gone, now that I'm back to this place, I just need that feeling back. I need to know that I can get on a plane and go somewhere and just temporarily start over. I need to know that I can make friends and really be myself no matter what. I need to know that I can fall in love without a man by falling in love with myself and life! But what I really need is to know I can do all those things without running away from the life I have now. Because no matter how much I miss England and you guys, no matter how much I miss Brian - LIFE IS GOOD! I mean, really, life is great. It's the most precious thing in the world and we are all so incredibly blessed just to be breathing. School, jobs, stress, all the drama - none of that matters. All that matters is that you make yourself happy any way you can. Know that any sadness, loneliness, or pain you have will pass because you deserve to be happy and God knows that. And you will be happy, just look to yourself first and foremost!
I hope this helped in any way. Even If not for you, it definitely helped me. I feel like I was mostly speaking to myself, but hey, that's okay. I love and miss you all so much and I WILL be seeing you again soon. Thank you all for being apart of my intervention and the reinvention of myself. You mean the world to me and you always will.
I'm sorry for my absence all these long months, but I think I'm ready to come back. I think I'm finally ready to start writing again. Not because I have the time or because I owe it to anyone, but just because I really want to. I am a writer and I've been going crazy not writing. So this is my official announcement: I'm coming home! I hope you keep reading.
Katherine
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
I promise it will be better next time
Well, here I am. Back from England. Done with winter break. It was pretty sweet. I actually didn't do a whole lot. Pretty much just hung out with friends and family and did a lot of relaxing (i.e. sitting around doing nothing). But it was really great nonetheless. I mean, I had just gotten back from traveling around Europe so it's okay that winter break wasn't too adventurous. By the way...I just have to mention that I REALLY miss England and my girls! Love you all! :(
Back at good old Miami University (of Ohio, of course). Marissa and I have our own apartment off campus this semester. It's pretty sweet. Living room, kitchen, our own washer and dryer, one bathroom, and one bedroom. Yeah...I have to share a bedroom AGAIN with my sister. In England I had my own room, even a double bed. It was sweet. But it's all good. I don't mind sharing with my sister...again...for the second time in college...after our entire lives of having the same room at home...Nah, I'm just messing. I really don't mind it so much :)
So yeah...back at school...(Sidenote: Did you ever notice how often I use elipses?! A LOT! Sorry about that...) I am taking six classes this semester. They are as follows: African American Literature, History of English Language, Practicum in Integrating Technology into instruction, Literature and other media for Adolescents, Environmental Biology, and HORSEBACK RIDING!!!! It's not too bad of a schedule. Only one class on Mondays and my technology into instruction class never actually meets; it's just online. So that's pretty cool. I'm not really too worried about anything other than this Literature for adolescents class. I have to write a 20 page rationale for a book and also read approximately 20 books. I love reading, but I already have a huge list of books I want to read that I've been putting off. Looks like I have to put them off for just a little longer... :( I am totally pumped about horseback riding though. It's an hour and forty minutes every Friday morning AND I don't have to walk to the stables since my car is right here this semester. Yay!
In other news...it is freaking cold out! However, I LOVE winter! I got to go sled riding once over break. It was awesome. I managed not to hurt myself. My sister wasn't so lucky. She has a bruise the size of baseball on her thigh. haha. I mean...sorry, M. That sucks...I did get a bruise on my foot New Years though. One Miss Brandi Bright stepped on my foot with her high heel. I didn't really notice it at the time...but later...oh boy. Not fun. Bruises in general: not fun. I got another one when I bumped into the corner of our end table moving in the other day. Alright, when I begin talking about the weather and end up talking about bruises you know it's time for me to just stop. Seriously. What's wrong with me?! I just don't know when to stop. So I'll take my own hint...
Love is all you need :)
Katherine
P.S. Sorry about this boring "update" post...I promise it will be better next time
Back at good old Miami University (of Ohio, of course). Marissa and I have our own apartment off campus this semester. It's pretty sweet. Living room, kitchen, our own washer and dryer, one bathroom, and one bedroom. Yeah...I have to share a bedroom AGAIN with my sister. In England I had my own room, even a double bed. It was sweet. But it's all good. I don't mind sharing with my sister...again...for the second time in college...after our entire lives of having the same room at home...Nah, I'm just messing. I really don't mind it so much :)
So yeah...back at school...(Sidenote: Did you ever notice how often I use elipses?! A LOT! Sorry about that...) I am taking six classes this semester. They are as follows: African American Literature, History of English Language, Practicum in Integrating Technology into instruction, Literature and other media for Adolescents, Environmental Biology, and HORSEBACK RIDING!!!! It's not too bad of a schedule. Only one class on Mondays and my technology into instruction class never actually meets; it's just online. So that's pretty cool. I'm not really too worried about anything other than this Literature for adolescents class. I have to write a 20 page rationale for a book and also read approximately 20 books. I love reading, but I already have a huge list of books I want to read that I've been putting off. Looks like I have to put them off for just a little longer... :( I am totally pumped about horseback riding though. It's an hour and forty minutes every Friday morning AND I don't have to walk to the stables since my car is right here this semester. Yay!
In other news...it is freaking cold out! However, I LOVE winter! I got to go sled riding once over break. It was awesome. I managed not to hurt myself. My sister wasn't so lucky. She has a bruise the size of baseball on her thigh. haha. I mean...sorry, M. That sucks...I did get a bruise on my foot New Years though. One Miss Brandi Bright stepped on my foot with her high heel. I didn't really notice it at the time...but later...oh boy. Not fun. Bruises in general: not fun. I got another one when I bumped into the corner of our end table moving in the other day. Alright, when I begin talking about the weather and end up talking about bruises you know it's time for me to just stop. Seriously. What's wrong with me?! I just don't know when to stop. So I'll take my own hint...
Love is all you need :)
Katherine
P.S. Sorry about this boring "update" post...I promise it will be better next time
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Baby, I'm amazed by you
I hate myself right now...I've said this before...I seem to mean it every time, and of course, every time it's for the same reason. I bet you don't even have to guess why. One simple word: schoolwork. That's right, big surprise. Katherine hates herself because of schoolwork. Go figure! This time I have four essays due before I leave England on Saturday...well, technically...they're not due until January 7th (I can send them in electronically). But who wants to leave school and then continue to do schoolwork over Christmas break? Certainly not me! But unfortunately...considering a change of location didn't change my work ethic, I have so much to do yet...Basically it's three 2,500 word essays (That's about 8 pages double-spaced) and one 750 word essay (2 1/2 pages).
So yes, right now, at this very moment, it may appear that I hate myself. I can say it and think it, but you know what...I don't hate myself! Never have I ever truly hated myself! And you know why? Because I am an amazing person! Now, I'm not saying this because I'm a conceited person. I'm saying this because sometimes you just have to look at yourself and say, "I'm an amazing person!" You laugh, but it's true. There is so much in the world that tries to put us down. Magazines telling us ways to improve our looks, models making us feel fat, the cinema making us believe happy endings only happen in the movies. Well, you know what! I'm sick of the world trying to make me hate myself...I love myself! And you know what, you should too! And here's why...
So yes, right now, at this very moment, it may appear that I hate myself. I can say it and think it, but you know what...I don't hate myself! Never have I ever truly hated myself! And you know why? Because I am an amazing person! Now, I'm not saying this because I'm a conceited person. I'm saying this because sometimes you just have to look at yourself and say, "I'm an amazing person!" You laugh, but it's true. There is so much in the world that tries to put us down. Magazines telling us ways to improve our looks, models making us feel fat, the cinema making us believe happy endings only happen in the movies. Well, you know what! I'm sick of the world trying to make me hate myself...I love myself! And you know what, you should too! And here's why...
- For every one person who doesn't like you, there's ten more who love you
- God has great things in store for your life and they involve you being happy
- There's at least one person in this world who lives to see you smile
- Just when you think things couldn't get any worse...they get better
- You know that one part of your body you don't like? Someone is jealous of it.
- Your parents don't have to say that because they're your parents. They say it because it's true.
- There's always someone else. You're never alone.
- We all have faults, we all make mistakes. IT'S NORMAL!
You are amazing, and don't let anyone or anything make you think any different. Especially not yourself :)
Katherine
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
My Grown Up Christmas List
So this year I decided not to make a Christmas list to give to my parents like I normally do. However, since I didn't write a Christmas List for them, Marissa, Christina (Marissa's friend studying in Greece with her), and I decided to write a practical/impractical Christmas Lists to send to Santa. I admit it was a rather long list...but I thought that it's my first Christmas List to Santa and I've been an awful good girl. So maybe he could manage to take care of a couple things...impractical or not :)
1. Boyfriend/fall in love
2. Lose ten pounds
3. Continue to make the Dean's List every semester in college
4. For military to stop being deployed and for soldiers to come home
5. Stay best friends with my Royal Holloway girls
6. For grandpa and grandma to be healthy and pain free
7. Mini cooper
8. Clear skin
9. White Christmas
10. Become more involved at Miami University
11. Horse
12. New kitten (Come on, mom and dad! Stop kicking the kittens out!)
13. Slow last 1 1/2 weeks in London
14. Incredibly slow Christmas break
15. Dates to all three weddings I'm attending this summer
16. Beat the last level of Donkey Kong Country Super Nintendo
17. Someone to kiss at New Years
18. Continue to grow closer to my dad's side of the family
19. Get more sleep
20. To be more spontaneous and live life to the fullest
21. Get rid of writer's block
22. Grow in my faith/define my own beliefs
23. To like beer
24. Make new friends at Miami University
25. For my right ankle to get back to normal size
Of course that's not everything on my list, but it's a preview. I seriously recommend writing Christmas lists to Santa. It's not only fun, but hopeful. And you must mail them too! Apparently, if you write Santa Claus on an envelope and mail it there is an actual place the letter goes to. And the letter gets read (and sometimes answered!) By who, you may ask? By Santa, of course!
Christmas is coming :)
Katherine
1. Boyfriend/fall in love
2. Lose ten pounds
3. Continue to make the Dean's List every semester in college
4. For military to stop being deployed and for soldiers to come home
5. Stay best friends with my Royal Holloway girls
6. For grandpa and grandma to be healthy and pain free
7. Mini cooper
8. Clear skin
9. White Christmas
10. Become more involved at Miami University
11. Horse
12. New kitten (Come on, mom and dad! Stop kicking the kittens out!)
13. Slow last 1 1/2 weeks in London
14. Incredibly slow Christmas break
15. Dates to all three weddings I'm attending this summer
16. Beat the last level of Donkey Kong Country Super Nintendo
17. Someone to kiss at New Years
18. Continue to grow closer to my dad's side of the family
19. Get more sleep
20. To be more spontaneous and live life to the fullest
21. Get rid of writer's block
22. Grow in my faith/define my own beliefs
23. To like beer
24. Make new friends at Miami University
25. For my right ankle to get back to normal size
Of course that's not everything on my list, but it's a preview. I seriously recommend writing Christmas lists to Santa. It's not only fun, but hopeful. And you must mail them too! Apparently, if you write Santa Claus on an envelope and mail it there is an actual place the letter goes to. And the letter gets read (and sometimes answered!) By who, you may ask? By Santa, of course!
Christmas is coming :)
Katherine
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