What I should have said

Shy (adj): Drawing back from contact or familiarity with others

I can run through the entire scene in my head before the actual event. I can think of what I would say, what I would do, how I would act, and I would tell myself over and over again that I can do it. I can manage to be myself and not screw it up. But alas, I cannot. When presented with an opportunity all I can manage is sitting there thinking about what I should say, but can't bring myself to say it. Why do I have to be so shy?

Why, when presented with an opportunity do I choke? Why do I sit there like an idiot wondering what you're thinking? Why do I do this to myself? Why can't I just say what I want instead of kicking myself later for what I should have said? For instance, what I should have said was that I like being in your presence, even if we're sitting there not saying a word to each other. What I should have said is that I like your laugh and can't help but smile when I see you smile. What I should have said is that I'm completely smitten and can't wait to see you again.

But, then again, that's what I should have said.

K.M.L.